Love Messages You May Want to Forget

Guidelines for a Fulfilling Sex Life

1. Be aware of and take pride in your sexuality; it is one of the most powerful and constructive forces in your life.
   
   
2. Be genuine and spontaneous in giving it expression; know what turns you on and don't be afraid to share it with your partner--whatever it is (and even if it happens not to be different from your partner's turn-on's), rest assured that you share it with at least 20% of mankind.
   
   
3. Don't be afraid to ask for sex--and, since your partner can't always be on the same wave-length, don't let rejection destroy you; on the other hand, when you're asked and you don't feel like it for whatever legitimate reason, don't make it a ‘rejection’--but, rather, insteading of saying "no," say "when," with a considerate and honest explanation.
   
   
4. Encourage your partner to ask for sex whenever in the mood.
   
   
5. Never use sex as a weapon or a bargaining tool.
   
   
6. Make it your business to find out what actually turns your partner on--don't make any assumptions in this area.
   
   
7. Show appreciation for your partner as a person before. During and aftter sex, engage your partner's mind and feelings as well as his or her body.
   
   
8. Be familiar with and enjoy your partner's entire body.
   
   
9. Talk freely about your sensations and feelings.
   
   
10. Become aware of the real pleasures of foreplay and afterplay -- and ‘go’ with them, without undue focus on performance, athleticism or orgasm.
    
    
11. In the appropriate manner and timing, tell your partner what your turn-ons are, what you need to be sexually satisfied -- and make it clear that you're hoping for the same honesty in return.
    
    
12. Sex is not necessarily a serious matter. Be as relaxed, childish and playful as you feel.
    
    
13. Don't confine tenderness and amorousness to the times when you want or expect sex; take and give pleasure in spontaneous caresses. Keep romance alive in other ways that have special meaning for your partner.
    
    
14. Don't be afraid to let yourself go. Be willing and eager to accept the risks of being totally yourself, truly intimate and interdependent; in the deepest sense, it is the strong (not the weak) who can voluntarily surrender themselves and their identity with another person.