Relationship Assessment

For half a century, our mission has been to teach those attitudes, emotional understandings and behaviors that nurture and sustain healthy relationships and to make this knowledge broadly available on behalf of a safer, saner, more loving world.

The PAIRS Relationship Pleasure Scale is a scientifically-validated assessment that offers an instant snapshot of the current state of your relationship based on the answers you provide to just six questions.

We experience pleasure when our basic needs are met. In terms of the "emotion of love," it's the anticipation of pleasure in our interactions with each other that gives rise to the feeling of love. That's just about the feeling itself, the emotion. People often confuse the word "love," with "commitment." Based on feelings of love, people may make a commitment to each other. But it's not the feelings you can promise because all emotions naturally wax and wane for a long list of reasons. Commitment, however, is a different story. Commitment doesn't depend on how someone feels at a given moment in time.

Sustaining feelings of love takes knowing what's a pleasure to another person during different times, stages and circumstances in their lives. Happy couples in successful long-term relationships learn to navigate those transitions with skills for good communication, problem-solving, and emotional understanding.

Not getting our needs met can lead to feelings of pain, sadness, anger, and disappointment. As those feelings build up, it can be very difficult to experience the emotion of love. Eventually, upsetting feelings either implode (leading to sadness or even depression) or explode (leading to anger, a "short fuse," and the potential for abuse.) Along the way, our once closest, most cherished relationships can become highly vulnerable.

The Relationship Pleasure Scale is your chance to consider how your relationship is meeting your needs in each of the areas critical to successful long-term relationships. If you realize there are areas that can be improved, investing time learning skills to strengthen the areas you want to improve may be one of the most important decisions of your life.

Select your choices below to indicate how much pleasure and satisfaction you are getting from each of these happiness resources that are vital to lasting, loving relationships. Your personal score and assessment will be emailed to you at the email address provided within a few minutes. After answering the questions, you'll also have a chance to let us know if you'd like the opportunity for a personal follow-up from a Purpose Built Families trained profesional. Regardless of whether you want personal support from Purpose Built Families, be sure to enter an email address where you can receive your results.

Feel free to try the Relationship Pleasure Scale every 30 days or so to see if you're making progress creating a relationship that can be a lasting source of love, pleasure, happiness and fulfillment.